My heart hurts.
Sometimes I don't know whether I should throw up or cry.
I'm sure you've been there. Received terrible news about someone you care about. Found out they made a wrong choice that will change their life forever.
It's very hard to digest when someone close to you goes through something like this. Like ripples of water from a skipping stone, so is the effect on others. We are a community, whether we see it that way or not. Our choices affect others.
Today's message screams at us, "Do what feels right. Follow your heart. Do what's best for you."
But this modern message forgets to add, "But when you do end up following your heart, just keep in mind that it may ruin your relationships, break trust, and change everything."
Like the song Slow Fade
by Casting Crowns, the simple, small choices we make today will affect tomorrow in a big way. Nobody wakes up one day thinking, "I think I'll mess up today." It's usually not a black and white issue. It's choosing compromise in the little areas, slowly, day by day. Pretty soon you've got an avalanche that simply started out as a (seemingly) harmless snowball.
I've been wrestling with so many emotions the past few days. Anger, sadness, confusion, pity. How could this happen? Why?
Through it all I keep hearing the voice of the Lord saying, "May I be glorified!"
Through worship and prayer, scripture reading and meditation, I find hope and peace. He alone is the rock I cling to. Man will fail us. Only He is perfect.
It will take me some time to process my emotions and grief. I am inspired to write a post soon entitled, "Marriage on fire- protecting your sacred vows". I have so many ideas spinning in my head. So many thoughts.
But for now, I grieve. And that's okay.